In some ways, a reset button has been pressed so to speak.

This is when you respond by saying, “Let’s meet for coffee to catch up. ” If they respond positively and you meet up, it is crucial that you be casual and lighthearted.

The go-to No Contact Rule, that so many of us in the relationship-recovery industry harp on, is still a good thing to do in this situation, but this is one of the few situations where experience has shown that breaking no-contact after a period of time can sometimes be effective.

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Below, anonymous New Yorkers offer advice on how to get over a breakup and the strategies that worked for them.

My relationship of almost four years ended very recently.

Over time, your ex started feeling worn down and considered that maybe the person of influence was correct.

He/she then started to think that breaking up with you would hurt in the short term, but would be best for them in the long term.

It seems counter intuitive and in many ways it is, but the answer to the question, “Can your ex break up with you but still be in love with you,” is, yes. Different people handle difficulty in different ways.

Some people break up with someone only if they no longer feel “in love” with them.

They become depressed, say things on social media or to their friends almost as though were the one who was dumped.

As you might imagine, this can make things very confusing for the person who was actually dumped.

This is a case of mind or logic over feelings/heart.

–Your boyfriend or girlfriend came to the conclusion that the future looked bleak for the relationship and even though they were in love with you, broke up with you thinking that eventually they would get over it and be glad they did. Maybe you didn’t want to have children ever but he/she did.

In some cases, this situation makes getting them back somewhat easier. Because they didn’t want to break up with you in the first place. A person who has lived a life of delayed gratification and who has been in situations where they have suffered loss is more likely to endure and accept the pain of the breakup and not see the pain as a reason to get back together with you IF they believe it was the “right” thing to do for them.