You shouldn’t have to feel bad if you are two consenting adults who understand the situation, whatever it may be.The thing is though, that many times people don’tproperly understand the situation here and aren’t honest with each other, and that’s where hurt feelings and stereotypes start flowing into the discussion.

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3) Stability I have had the opportunity to discuss “stability” with many older Chinese, and this is the big thing I hear from many Chinese parents. Possibly a seven or eight year pit stop, but a pit stop nonetheless.

It’s not so much that they don’t like foreigners, it’s just that there is a stereotype—founded or unfounded—that expats in China are far less stable than their Chinese counterparts. We’ll go back home or move to another country eventually; the parents of your “qin ai de” know this and will take that into consideration.

The parents get a say in the matter, if not out-right organize the whole relationship.

On top of this, the parents are also heavily influenced by their neighbors and siblings and grandparents and the security guard and the vegetable lady they buy xincai from, right on up to Xi Jinping himself.

Got that "Green Card" for being married and in China for 5 years yet? Apr 15, 2015 Unfortunately most of the article and the comments do not reflect anything close to my experience in China. I was in Beijing for 1 and a half years and moved to Yiwu.

You know the one that allows you to work past 60, to come and go without visas or registering with the PSB, to live a a life without looking over your shoulder or wondering if your contract will be renewed next year. Also in 5 years I was in 36 of the cities all over China from Guangzhou to Xing jian to Shanghai to Xian and Changchun.

2) Family pressures If you’ve just stepped off the plane, it’s forgivable that you don’t know the cultural differences just yet.

One of the biggest differences you’ll encounter is that parental pressure and lofty expectations play a much larger role in Chinese dating than they do in many Western countries.

When two Chinese go on a first date, especially dates organized by their mothers or a coven of plotting ayis, it can be a fairly serious affair, even with children/families/marriage discussed in some cases. However, at least in America, we will go on dates with people we hardly even know/like for something interesting to do, a chance at an actual future together, and—this is important—the potential for a mutually-agreed upon sexual relationship.