Gotta quit eating this extra-large pizza while I type.

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A few months later – and okay, I know this is kind of a theme, but that’s just how things worked out – I met this girl in a bar in Shinjuku and we ended up in a love hotel. If you want a vivacious woman who takes an active role in lovemaking then, I dunno, maybe go to Brazil or something, but definitely not Japan.

We paid the money for a room with lots of mirrors, went in, started making out on the bed, and then just as we were about to, as they say, consummate matters, she looked up at me and asked, I was like, What the hell? And you know I’m not trying to lead anybody on, but for Christ’s sake. Okay, so I haven’t dated that many Japanese women, statistically speaking.

So now your wife’s at home every day, washing the sheets, scrubbing the bathtub, and cooking meals, which sounds all hunky dory, except that she’s going to require the same amount of effort from you. The difference is that men will put forth whatever effort necessary, and settle for a woman who’s boring, poorly educated, unemployed, even unattractive, so long as it results in some sex.

That means you can forget about breezing home at five, ordering an extra-large pizza, putting your feet up, and watching TV. No, you either have to stay at the office until midnight, or come home and get busy. Sorry, I meant, “true love.” My fingers slipped off the keys.

I first came to Japan in 2003, and started studying Japanese shortly thereafter.

I spend a tremendous amount of time asking Japanese people, in Japanese, what they think about Japan, love, sex, foreigners, language, and everything else under the sun.

This seems to elicit very different results than speaking in English. Because actually no matter what you say or do, a certain number of them will pretend to like you. Western women will generally let you know up front that they’re not interested in you, while Japanese women will act cute and ooh-and-ahh over you while secretly thinking you’re an idiot. As a man, you’re setting yourself up to be the breadwinner in a society where you’re a perpetual outsider with minimal advancement opportunities.

What I see often seems unlike the Japan depicted in books and on the net, and sometimes I wonder, What country are these people talking about? Like so many interactions in Japan, things often start off promising, only to become vastly more complicated before hot dog hits bun, so to speak. What woman would settle for an illiterate man with no money and little social standing? If you get married, or have kids, you can pretty much kiss your ass goodbye.

Anyway, I just try to present what I’ve learned and experienced in the most authentic way possible, so hopefully others can think about Japan in a well-rounded manner.” This article is an insightful and slightly controversial follow-up to “Is Dating Japanese Women Really That Easy? First of all, understand that very few Japanese women are interested in dating men of other races. Of course, if you hang around in gaijin bars, then yeah, you’ll meet the one-percent of “Japanese chicks who study English.” And they’ll come equipped with tons of stereotypical ideas about white, black, and miscellaneous brown people. Don’t forget to mention your manga collection and the fact you’re a yellow belt in karate. So when you initially meet someone new, you’re already pre-defined as “a foreigner,” someone whose skin color, clothing, habits, and beliefs places them instantly outside of the social order. Or are you just going to peace out back to Canada and live with your mom after a couple of years? Case in point, I ran in my buddy Tim-Bob the other day, having beers in a gaijin bar.