The best openers end with a clear question that gets her talking about something specific.“What’s up?

As your conversation goes back-and-forth, keep in mind: your goal is to find commonalities.

And I’ll miss my sorority sisters when it’s over for sure. I’ve still been in touch with everybody, but it’s harder for sure. So while the above advice should help, I can’t overemphasize the importance of your pics first.

Find something in her profile you identify with and comment on it. Ask her questions, it shows you're interested in who she is, not just her body.

When you just write “hey” to a girl, you haven’t actually started a conversation. For a girl, replying to “hey” feels like work with no pay-off in sight.

And guys, its not ok to shame a woman who says this. You are now non-dating material unless you seek a single mother in 99% of cases. They were unoriginal, saying only “hey how are you," or were unable to compose a complete sentence. They accused my pictures of being catfish material. Edit: A recent conversation with a male friend struggling with these apps brought the following point to mind. Your time to talk about you will come soon, if you play these cards right.

Keep talk about yourself to a minimum (unless she asks, then dont avoid her question and make her have to repeat herself).

For instance, single fathers would regularly message me even though the first sentence in my profile said NO FATHERS. I could go on, but my advice would be to be authentic, respectful, polite, and to act as though your grandma were reading your messages.

Pretty disrespectful to assume that I dont know what I want. They had a pessimistic "woe-is-me" or incel "women are demons" attitude They were too pushy. It’s more like a job interview than schmoozing some drunk chick at a bar.

Rather, ask specific questions (like the examples above) that put you in the driver’s seat of the conversation.

They put the work on her to decide what to talk about.

Now if you demonstrate a great sense of humor and that we have things in common, I might entertain the “age is only a number” cliché. If you want responses to messages REFRAIN FROM ALL OF THE ABOVE. There’s also not so secret Reason #20: I’m just not attracted to you. BUT a good message can make a person so much more attractive, I’m not kidding! Ones that are too specific to be copy/pasted to the entirety of the online world.