Tips for dating an introvert
This means filling the dead air with conversation in order to avoid what you, as an extrovert, might perceive to be an awkward or uncomfortable silence.
“It can be a conversation-stopper for an introvert if you get into that space too quickly,” Dr. “They will start to disengage because they don’t have time to process what you’re saying or think about how they want to respond.” If you allow them time to pause, on the other hand, you’ll likely “get something good” back and the convo can continue. Helgoe, this knowledge should provide some relief for extroverts who often feel burdened to do all the work in a conversation.
and self-proclaimed introvert Laurie Helgoe, Ph D: Her husband of 35 years is an extrovert.
“An action movie might give the extrovert that stimulus [they crave] while the introvert gets to have a little bit of a break from social interaction,” she says.
“So, that might be an example of something that works for both people.” As an introvert myself, I’ve also found that a key component to navigating this often frustrating difference is to be okay with spending time apart, too.
Helgoe says, is where the introvert may need to reaffirm their boundaries.
“[They might be like], ‘Hey, I can’t really process this when you’re talking so loud, can you tone it down?
“Introverts tend to be highly sensitive individuals, so if somebody’s angry they might over-interpret its severity, actually,” she explains.
“Therefore, a little goes a long way with them.” This, Dr.
Because, as introverts, we often derive our energy from solitude and quiet contemplation in which to process life’s events, we have only so much social goodwill to go around. Just simply state that you need to reschedule, and offer an alternative date, time, and place. I’m going to pass along the best piece of advice my old therapist ever gave me.
In fact, any form of socializing has the potential to deplete these stores. You get to meet complete strangers (not always our strongest suit), who will then subject you to a barrage of intensely personal questions and judge you! There is good news too, but let’s get the bad news out of the way first. He said, “You can’t fuck up soul mates.” Write that down, and put it in your pocket. You should never feel bad for treating them as such, and don’t let anyone tell you different. You can use subtle ways to tell your profile visitors you are introverted, without standing on a mountain top and screaming down a declaration for the masses.
“Generally, an extrovert is drawn to higher-stimulus activities and introverts are drawn to lower-stimulus activities,” Dr. “So introverts are usually trying to turn down the volume while extroverts are usually trying to turn it up.” Hence, tension. Helgoe tells me that navigating such a relationship can actually help you grow in ways that dating someone who is more similar to you cannot.
To help you make it work, she offers some tips for dating an introvert when you’re on the other end of the spectrum. Helgoe, need a lot of time to process their thoughts before they speak.
Remember that whole conflict-adverse thing I mentioned earlier?